Susan Ali Tabasum

Sensitive content – the following story contains references to stillbirth.

Friendship has always been an important aspect of Susan Ali Tabasum’s life. Here Susan shares how the ‘soulsis’ (soul sister) she met through her Open University (OU) degree studies helped her when she lost her second child, and how she continues to be a positive presence in her life today. 

Susan, aged 43, from Glasgow, says: “In 2007 my brother planted the seed of studying at university and I quickly laughed it off, never to be thought of again. 

“Fast forward to 2015 and nearing the end of my Higher National Certificate in Counselling course at Glasgow Clyde College, I knew I wanted to expand my knowledge of why individuals required counselling.

“I had gained the same interventions during some difficult times in my life, yet never thought of university being open to me. At this pivotal moment however, two good friends persuaded me to stop at The Open University careers desk, during the college’s open day. I enquired what that next pathway may entail, never thinking anything of it. 

“Yet a few weeks later, there I was starting my OU journey as an undergraduate student studying a Bachelor of Science (Honours) degree in Psychology with Counselling. I was raring to go!”

Support during studies

“I care for my son, who has Autism Spectrum Disorder and learning difficulties. 

I received Disabled Students’ Allowance for mentoring support. This helped me immensely in gaining confidence, assisting me with anxiety when things got tough."

“I have dyslexia and short-term memory loss. Over four years of my studies, I received Disabled Students’ Allowance for mentoring support. This helped me immensely in gaining confidence, assisting me with anxiety when things got tough. My mentor and I met in person and online. 

“Unexpectedly, I made friends with fellow students both locally and further afield, which made my journey even more enjoyable than I could have imagined. 

“Thanks to these friendships, along with unwavering support from OU tutors, the Student Support Team and of course my family, I found myself passing every assignment and my self-esteem, confidence and self-worth was growing daily. 

“Yet, more was to come. In 2017 I received the most exciting news that I was expecting my second son. My gap year request was approved.

Never give up hope

“Unbeknown to me this happiness was soon to take an unexpected turn, and ultimately my son was born sleeping on 28 July 2017 at just short of 6 months’ gestation. 

We both gained our degrees and to this day are best friends."

“My heart was broken into a million pieces, yet my sleeping baby brought me hope in the form of my soulsis, Vanessa Lee.

“Vanessa had unexpectedly liked my post on the Facebook group chat for our OU module and I felt deep within my heart that my son had sent her my way.

“Before you knew it, we both gained our degrees and to this day are best friends. 

Strong friendship

“At this point I was more than happy to accept my undergraduate degree and continue on with life, but Vanessa messaged me about studying Open University postgraduate modules.

“While not what I had envisaged myself doing, I am so grateful to her for bringing me this next step in my journey towards self-actualisation. 

“Not long after completing the first module, I gained a rehabilitation support worker position in a rehabilitation unit for neurological brain injuries. I could bring into practice all that I had learned from previous studies, and it was something I was passionate in doing as a career.

“Earlier this year I stopped my job due to health issues. This autumn I will start a Masters in Career Guidance and Development at a campus university.  

“The friendship between myself and my soulsis Vanessa is as strong as it was in 2017. With her confidence and enthusiasm, I know that wherever the future takes me I will not only have my soulsis, but also all my friends and family who have been with me along this crazy adventure of mine.” 

Vanessa says: “My friendship with Susan is so important to me and I thank the OU from the bottom of my heart for bringing her into my life.”

Photo: Vanessa Lee (left) and Susan Ali Tabasum (right), with Susan’s eldest son.